The answer to part of your question is a solid maybe. The rest makes no sense.
The people who consistently give you scary no answers are completely wrong. The answer is Yes.
Income taxes that have been owing for at least three years can be discharged in a bankruptcy provided there is nothing the federal tax lien attaches to. Right now, this would be tax for 2006 or earlier provided the returns have been filed for at least two years and the bills are more than 240 days old.
If you owe newer tax, you may be able to avoid paying penalties if you file a Chapter 13 repayment plan but will have to pay the tax as a priority debt.
Why IRS wants copies of tax returns makes no sense. They should have them already unless your husband has not filed in which case they don't want copies, they want signed originals.
If you can't pay, you can't pay. Period. There are four payment alternatives.
1. Pay in full now, probably not realistic for you
2. An installment agreement where you can pay what you wish if you owe less than $25,000 and can full pay within five years or, if you can't do that or owe more than $25,000, the amount IRS says you can pay based on expense standards it uses to dictate the payment amount.
3. An Offer in Compromise, the "Pennies on the Dollar" settlement you have probably seen advertised on cable TV. You would have to come up with a lump sum that is what IRS thinks it could squeeze out of you over a reasonable period of time.
4. A write-off, not exactly, but IRS may be convinced that you can pay nothing at this time and the account will be classified "currently not collectible" which means it stays on the books but IRS will not make agressive attempts to collect.
5. Bankruptcy may be a part way answer.
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